Friend Zone

"Not the person that you wanted me to see, but the you that was reserved for someone else. I finally saw why they wanted you, and I saw why not everyone is deserving of you as well. There is something special inside of you that has not been unlocked."

"I took a huge risk telling you how I felt and for a split-second; I did regret it because I was scared. I didn’t want to lose a friendship that took years to build but I didn’t want to lose out on something bigger either. Risk doesn’t scare me, not taking them does. I’m glad I said something before I had to sit and listen as you told me about someone else that’s in my place." [source]

ADVICE

meets my crazy

One Secret

We did this dance twice.
I am pained both times.
The big emotional adjustment is how content I am with you
And how am I feeling now.

It is like my favorite author of my favorite character died
And I am not going to hear any more stories.
The perpetual cliff hanger.

I am going to miss your smile, laughter, sparkle.
And your friendship.
Especially right this season.

You were the last one I spoke to at night
The first one I thought of each morning.
It will take time for that to change.

Porcelain

I take every slight, every mistake, every regret and pick it up like it's a porcelain figurine, staring at it examining it, trying to figure it out. What did I do wrong? Did I learn from it? I'm sorry. And it keeps me up at night.

Window

it is funny to watch one window literally close

while another is being opened. 

Unspoken Thoughts

I thought it was a funny title because I tend to be unfiltered and just say what is on my mind. That is true of many things, except when it will make me vulnerable. In cases of the heart I don't express myself.
I spent Saturday walking through the zoo, more enamored by my friend than the animls. She untied her hair, shook it out of the elastic and I watched it cascade down her back. When she drew her hair forward, swept to one side, her neck looked delicious - but that sounds too pedestrian. It was elegant, Lily white. And I wanted to trail kisses along it.
She has a delightful smile. It gives delight while on display.
Her view of the world, of wanting to give to the world, to fix it, to spread happiness, makes her glow.

Woke

She woke up something in me. I don't know what. Hope, maybe. Maybe she simply melted the walls around my heart away. It seems that way. And when I get crushed this time, it will be okay. I'll may be fine. Who knows?

And feeling this happy is a good reward. Happy moments are just that, moments. Enjoy them. Those moments are what carry you through the crazy journey of life. They are stars in the night sky.